Although I sometimes post things that are personal, I almost didn’t post this one, because it seemed boastful or too personal. That said, I kept revisiting it. So here it is. I would love to know your thoughts on this topic…
I can’t stop thinking about a conversation I had with my husband a while ago. We were making light of a situation that has frustrated both of us for a while and some how we started talking about expectations. I said that my life now far exceeds any expectation I had of of what I thought my life would be like when I was was 40 41. He thought I was kidding. He asked me, “didn’t you ever want to be President, an astronaut or think that you would be something ‘big’?”
When my mom was my age, she was divorced, had three children and had to really work hard to make ends meet – and they did not always meet. We lived in a nice home in a middle class neighborhood. Few families had divorced parents and I would guess that the majority of people in our area of town were white collar professionals who were college educated. So what did I aspire to? Well, I wanted to go to college and get a “good” job. A good job was a lawyer, I think, because that’s what Liz’s dad was and he was my role model for “success”. He even worked in “THE city” (that is New York City – the only city if you are from central NJ). I did not have much to compare to except television and movies and some “rich” cousins.
I had the opportunity to speak to several friends about this question of expectations on a 20 mile training run last fall- talk about a captive audience! It was really interesting to hear everyone’s perspectives. We all agreed that expectations have to do with where you came from and what your parents did/had as an example. We ranged from a small, blue collar town in Indiana to the suburbs of NJ and Cincinnati and New Haven, CT. I loved talking about this topic to my captives friends and hearing their thoughts. It seems that there are definitely are some gender differences for expectations, as well. That is fodder for a whole different post!
As for me, here is how I see it…I am happily married. The husband and I live well below our means and are on track with savings for early-ish retirement (I hope). I have amazing friends, and family members, who support all of my pursuits (no matter how crazy). I am gainfully flexibly employed (and can afford a bit of time off to take stock and figure out what I want to be when I grow up) and have a great professional network. We take awesome trips all over the world. I have my health (and the husband’s). I can run and be active more than most people half my age. I have the resources to do almost anything I really want to do. I am at a point where I am comfortable in my skin, asking for help and trying new things.
Do I have more than I ever dreamed of having? Yes, in fact, I do.
How about you?