I loved the post 23 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing from the Huffington Post. It was going around on Facebook. This post reminded me of another “don’t” list I posted a while back from Marc and Angel Hack Life. When I posted that list, my friend, Carolyn, said she’d prefer a more affirmative “do” list. I mentioned a similar thing on Facebook and my friend, Dae, suggested that I blog about it. So I changed that one to a “do” list HERE. That message stuck. The advice of “don’ts” or “stops” seems kind of negative and almost as if you are doing things wrong. And 23 is a lot of things to do wrong.
As much as I like the “stop doing list” from Huff Post and recommend that you read the full article, it was not hard to rephrase the list in the affirmative, so here goes. On the left is the Huff Post “Stop” which I have rephrased into an Erica Finds’ “Start.”
| Huff Post “Stops” to… | …EF “Starts” |
| 1. Apologizing all the time. | 1. Own your preferences and decisions without apology! |
| 2. Saying “yes” to everyone else. | 2. Say “no” when you mean “no” it is just an “I’d rather not.” |
| 3. Saying “no” to yourself. | 3. Say “yes” to you time – whatever that is and treat yourself. |
| 4. Viewing food as the enemy. | 4. Develop a positive relationship with food – including treats. |
| 5. Body-snarking — out loud or in your own head. | 5. Talk about your body positively and embrace the assets you have. Even THINK about your positive attributes instead of negative ones |
| 6. Feeling like an impostor when you accomplish something professionally. | 6. Own your successes at work (and in life) and if you feel insecure “fake it ‘til you make it” |
| 7. Comparing your real life to someone else’s virtual one. | 7. Realize that Facebook and blogs are generally people’s highlight reels. Remember you don’t know what is edited out! |
| 8. Obsessively untagging every “unflattering” photo of you that ever existed online. | 8. Remember that “unflattering” photo commemorates an occasion and unless it is truly awful, let it be. |
| 9. Holding on to regrets and guilt. | 9. Forget regrets and guilt and focus on lessons (and apologies, if needed). And then move on! |
| 10. Wearing heels every day. | 10. Wear comfortable shoes. |
| 11. Judging other women’s sex lives. | 11. Live and let live when it comes to other women’s choices on sex. |
| 12. Judging your own sex life. | [Not sure I know what to do with this one!] A wise male friend suggested “Sex is a wonderful thing in healthy, adult relationship, but don’t let it dominate your life and self image.” |
| 13. Trying to be “chill.” | 13. Just be you and don’t worry about being “mellow” if you are not wired that way! |
| 14. Fearing the label “crazy.” | 14. Express your emotions… even if it makes you feel “crazy” once in a while. |
| 15. WebMD-ing everything. | 15. Stay on top of your health with regular physicals. Instead of self-diagnosing, see a physician if you have health concerns. |
| 16. Worrying that your life doesn’t look like Pinterest. | 16. Accept your efforts in the kitchen and with DIY projects – not everyone has every talent! (See #7!) |
| 17. Fearing being alone. | 17. Embrace time alone – be comfortable in your own company. |
| 18. Being in relationships for the sake of having a relationship. | 18. Don’t settle. Being alone is better than being in a relationship for the sake of a relationship. |
| 19. Not taking advantage of your vacation days. | 19. Take all of your vacation days. (Best advice I ever received when I started working full time!) |
| 20. Holding on to toxic friendships. | 20. Break up with toxic friends and “fre-nemies” |
| 21. Spending time with people out of obligation. | 21. Be intentional with how you use your time and who you spend it with. “Let some relationships naturally fade away.” |
| 22. Being embarrassed about your interests. | 22. Own your interests – even if they are offbeat. They are a big part of what make you “you” |
| 23. Setting deadlines for major life events. | 23. Enjoy life today – you never know what tomorrow will bring. Waiting for “the right time/things” to happen may make you miss out on good things that are off your path. |
I think most of these could inspire posts or series’ of posts. I already have a few in the works!
What do you think? Do you prefer to be told what to do versus what not to do? Which of these resonates the most? What do you want to STOP or START?