9 Ways to Build Your Confidence

I had the opportunity to attend a great networking event with the Chicago XX in Health Networking group last week. XX in Health, an initiative of Rock Health, aims to “connect and empower female visionaries to drive change in healthcare.” The event brought together about 25 women in a variety of positions and industry segments in health care. There was a facilitated session with David Kaiser, PhD, PCC who runs a business focused on career coaching for female executives, Confidence for Women Professionals. The topic, not surprisingly, was improving confidence in the work place.

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After introductions and “asks” of the group, we discussed “why confidence matters.” The reasons that Kaiser gave:

  • “Confidence moves you to action, especially when the result is risky or in doubt.”
  • “Confidence in yourself inspires confidence in others.”
  • “Confidence can be self-fulfilling.” (And I would say that the opposite is also true)

Kaiser reminded us that like many things in life, confidence takes work. He said, “this is like going to the gym or eating well, it is something you have to do every day, on an ongoing basis, not just once or twice.”

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We discussed 9 ways to increase your confidence and shared examples from our careers and lives. It was a great exercise.

  • Collection of Triumphs. Kaiser suggests writing down “10 wins” every day. They can be from work, home related or personal. They can be small or large. Just think of and capture 10 wins on paper/in an online log. At the end of the week, you can report back to your boss, or not. Just the act of collecting the triumphs can help you to feel more confident in your abilities and progress.
  • Celebration. Recognize successes – yours and those of your colleagues and your family.
  • Talismans. Dress for success. Have a suit that makes you feel like you can’t lose or a dress that you feel super professional in, wear it! Or wear a piece of jewelry that makes you feel like a million bucks.
  • Rituals. Use music or other cues to boost your confidence. Wear your “lucky” underwear. Eat the breakfast that you ate last time you were successful. Superstitious? Maybe. Silly? No. Whatever it takes to put your best foot forward, do that!
  • Self-affirmations. Speak to yourself in a positive way. Ask yourself, “would I say this to negative comment to a friend?” No? Then don’t say it to yourself. It may feel silly at first, but giving yourself a peptalk is a good way to feel more confident and happier.
  • Affirmations from an Ally. Do you have a person who is your biggest supporter? Speak to him or her before a big meeting or task. She can “pump you up.” Remember, this is a two way street, so make sure to provide support to those who support you when they need it, too!
  • Get Clear on Failure. Before a new role or responsibility starts, think of the worst possibilities. What is truly the worst thing that can happen? What will you do about it? Run the scenarios and create a “Plan B.” 9 times out of 10, you won’t need it, but thinking through the scenarios can’t hurt and can help you to manage any bumps in the road.
  • Volunteer. Want to learn a new skill? Volunteer to do it. It’s a win-win. The person receiving the services benefits and so do you. This is a great way to learn new business areas or practice in areas you want to become more familiar with.
  • Do “the Scary”. Get comfortable with fear. List things that scare you and try some of them. Include the wins you have in your collection of triumphs. Don’t let asking old colleagues for a reference or going solo to a networking event? Try it! Then, go bigger.

I think this is such great, practical advice. I especially need to work on self-affirmations and doing what scares me. I have definitely gotten bolder and more confident through writing and trying new things here on the blog.

Want to learn more? Go to the Confidence for Women Professionals web page, check out the 60 Days to Great Confidence workbook or follow David Kaiser on Twitter.

What do you do to boost your confidence? Have any of these techniques worked for you? Tell me about it in the comments.